Put a pin in this moment.

I'm back in Hilo. Like for good. With any luck, I'll die here.  When I do, burn me and toss me in the ocean. Or figure out a way to compost me. That escalated quickly.



I'm back, but there's no shortage of missing pieces in my life.  My Jessie is still in VA, working her booty off in a difficult OT job.  We talk several times a day but it's not the same.  We'll never do this again. We want to be together, settle down and have children.

My cat and dog are with her, being well cared for and spoiled, but they belong here, retiring to HI. HI has no rabies, and they have strict guidelines for letting animals into the state. It's going to be a challenge. It needs to happen.

Our car was totaled recently, we're still working through the paperwork to get that settled. It's difficult to take care of a car in a salvage yard in NV, registered in MA, I'm in HI and Jessie's in VA. We keep hoping to make progress only to keep hitting road blocks. I hope this obstacle will be over come soon. It's my least favorite of our challenges.

We're looking for a house. We have some money for the down payment, but it's a big decision. We know what we want, where we want it and we want it now.  As with the other things we're dealing with, it's difficult coordinating this big decision while we're separated.
I've given up gaming until we have a house. I'm not a competitive gamer but I am a consistent gamer and it used to take a lot of my time, it was a good release for me, but it diverted my attention. I need as much focus as I can get right now.  Until the above items are taken care of how can I justify any more distractions? If I want to keep my wife happy, she needs a house. Gaming is keeping me from that. The joke, of course, is that since I quit gaming I've purchased the THQ bundle and a Death Adder mouse.



I'm thankful for reintegrating into our circle of friends. They're amazing and they keep me sane and entertained. We go on adventures: night swimming, full moon blessings. They're empathetic and fun.

I have roommates again.  I'm tired of roommates.  One doesn't say hello or even attempt to live with me. The other is a drunk, drinking and smoking so much that it's difficult to be in a room with him because of the stench. When he drinks I can't understand him through his slurred speech. He's also taken over the lanai, leaving trash, empty cans and cigarette butts over everything. I used to eat breakfast out there but I can't do that anymore. It's filthy. The third roommate is great, an old friend, but he's never home.

I have a moped again which is great. $10 / month on gas. It's a nice slice of independence. Hopefully it won't break.

Commercial success

A: did you see that commercial it was awesome
B:  I have a DVR, so I skipp commercials
C: I don't have a TV

A: Well it was on the radio too.
B: I have XM, I don't have any commericals
C: My radio is broken.

Every now and then I catch a spot of TV, daytime programming, commercials and all. Often 25% is commercials. If you watch commercials on a cable channel, then they get you coming and going.

I am the adult I want to become

When you're a hammer, every problem is a nail.
Clearly.
You draw from your knowledge and experience to find a solution.

I guess the idea is that you strive to be not only a hammer.

I recently learned sinnets, and thus I've put them into every dangling cord I come across at work. I coiled the power cord for the demo Xoom at work. The head of the dept, once he overcame his shock of a seemingly tangled power cord, said: "he has too much time on his hands" and shook his head wistfully.

I was a little embarrassed at first. Now I think he should have been; you want to surround yourself with people that know other things than you, you want your staff to be diverse. This means we're not all hammers and not every problem becomes a nail.

Thing a Day

February is Thing a Day month. Kind of similar to NaNoWriMo, NaBloPmo and the photo-a-day projects others have done. I'm going to try and participate in TaD but only at home, I'm not registering at the site. Then I'm going to blog about each project and maybe even a photo! Then I'm going to go back to school, punch god and eat the sun.

all in a month.

I have 4 or 5 ideas written down and am suddenly struck with the fear that I won't find enough ideas. Also I found out about TaD after I'd rescued this cast iron, it would've been a good choice.

The name and the grade are the same!

I passed my A+, It was a certification that I didn't really need, work wasn't asking for it, I don't think it's ever closed any doors for me. A couple of months ago I got my NSC Defensive Driving Cert but otherwise I haven't added to my resume much in a while.

CompTIA will change their certification policy from lifetime to renewable every three years starting in 2011 so it made sense to get certified before that happened.

I've been studying intermittently since the spring but seriously since Thanksgiving. I had an A+

For Dummies book which was really thick, used a confusing font and was the wrong choice for me as it was written for a dummy, or someone starting from scratch with no experience. I have experience and don't want to be patronized with little jokes. I should have gotten a more advanced book.

The most advantageous resource was a Pearson practice exam. Despite its flaws pictured here, several of the questions were word for word with the actual exam and it was a great resource.

Jessie quizzed me on port numbers, 802.11x standards and the laser printing process and I crushed the exam.

By the sword we seek peace

1. The first time they took some quarters and two granola bars and I didn't get angry because they were clearly hungry and didn't break anything.
2. The second time they set the alarm off and I was a little annoyed to have to wake up in the middle of the night.
3. This is the third time someone has broken into the car. Sunday morning brought this little gem and Springfield's ugly war boot crushed our Hawaiian petal.

They took my car's manual, a hair brush and a neck tie, then dumped them 50' away under a street lamp. You can see the rock in the first picture, it took down my rear-view mirror and the windshield-wiper lever. The wipers are now stuck on high.

The cops didn't even get out of their car when filing the report and were more interested in talking to me about Hawai'i than the incident. I had been giving New England the benefit of the doubt. No more.

Now you get nothing.

A Nation of Readers

That's how my dad once described the British. They read everyday: a book, a newspaper.

My parents were both heavy readers (one of them British!), my brother was too(also British). My grandmother, who's native tongue is Arabic and learned French in school and who didn't learn English until she moved to the US as adult still reads a Danielle Steele book everyday.

I am not a strong reader.

Over the holidays I saw that most of my adult family are everyday readers, some read more than they watch TV!

My wife loves reading, she reads for fun; fiction & non-fiction and is grumpy when she can't. This past summer I got excited over World War Z and read it as fast as I could, it took me 4 days. My wife had never seen me that excited over a book. Kevin finished it in a night.

How did I become such an undedicated reader? It looks like I have always been surrounded by them, encouraged, shown that it was cool, etc.

I just finished reading His Dark Materials. It's a trilogy, they made a movie of The Golden Compass. It's like 900 pages and it took me 6 months to read. That's two months per book, about four times longer than most people. I'm trying very hard to become a strong reader, it's a habit I want my children to have and they're more likely to learn pick it up if they see me doing it.

I try to be my best.

Every Day Carry

I was a Scout once. At the time I didn't understand the need to always be prepared because everything was always provided for me. As an adult I have the pleasure of providing for myself and I like to come prepared. A recent post on Reddit motivated me to make a list of my EDC items.

Every day carry means I always have a Leatherperson Micra & Maglite Solitaire on the key chain. This solves the majority of problems I run into.

In my backpack I carry:

• a makeup bag full of screw drivers
• ace wrap, adhesive medical strips and Neosporin
• Leatherperson Core
• notepad
• 3 pens, 1 sharpie
• Aspire One
• snacks
• Swiss army knife
• water bottle
• 4GB USB drive

In my car I have:

• full 1st aid kit
• change of clothes
• swim suit and snorkel gear
• Maglite Mini LED
• D40x

There're lots of resources for Every Day Carry items on EDCForums and EDCItems

Some people enjoy the serendipity of life and just roll with whatever happens and don't like faking control by carrying all this gear with them. I had a discussion once about whether the burden of always carrying everything was too high. In my mind it's not, I enjoy being prepared and I enjoy solving problems. To me the world is a playground, a workshop, and while it's not broken; I certainly enjoy fixing it.

What do you carry everyday?

Introvert, thy name is extrovert.

I have my own time and no one to share it with, so I joined as many clubs as I could find that would have me.

I'm now:

• Along with K, the most truant member of our church; having not missed a day since I've been back.
• A member of a scrabble club that meets every Friday at the mall
• The founder of a small but successful 2600 meeting the 1st Friday of every month
• I go to meetings and walk on Thursdays.
• I have friends outside of work and home.
• I'm getting much closer to finishing my archery target, then I'll be an archer again.

I feel very much like the Yes Man.

Work will set you free

I had a conversation with my brother once about work. He said he liked his work so much, he would go in early and stay late, work weekends, 12 hour days etc. I told him I could never understand that, liking work. At the time I think I was in highschool and my jobs consisted of mowing lawns, digging holes and data entry, so it's easy to understand why I felt that way. What I didn't understand was that it's not just the work that is part of the job. It's the other people, it's the impact, it's the environment.

I've been through a few more jobs since then, most of them had good sides and also bad: cheap/free food, the access to corporate software, the wiring skills I was learned, the cute girl at the lunch counter, the money I was making or the ease of the workload (I started this blog at work).

None of them fulfilled me. I never went to sleep happy and content, usually instead just out of exhaustion or sometimes with the arresting feeling that I'd be stuck doing this job for a very long time.

Now I work at a charter school, 50 students in the High, 25 in the Middle. It's amazing. Kids are like a drug. Being around youth, creativity and the pure joy that kids can have is intoxicating. I have a boss who trusts me and the decisions I make. She fights to make sure I continue to have a job next school year. I have friends that I go the extra mile for and they do the same for me. The people I work with are passionate, caring and willing to try new things. They are fluid. They have a great sense of humor.

Twice a week the middle school has kane (boy) / wahine (girl) day where they take each gender out for a field trip, project or focus group, the other gender stays behind at school. So twice a week I get to see what it's like for them to be alone.

You know who I love most? Middle school girls.

Lulz. No really:

When you put 13 year old boys together they fight, they spit and hit each other. Insults fly out as quickly as the laughing, they're loud. The little boys submit behind the bigger ones. They spend their time trying to look up scantily clad women on Internet and they break things. They're all the bad parts of humans--the aggressive and selfish and destructive energies fueled by the inhibitions of youth; they're assholes.

Putting girls alone means giggling, hula dancing and hair braiding. They look up lol cats on Internet. They're quiet and they help each other. They embody the good forces in the world.

There are, of course, exceptions. There are definitely some laid back and gentle boys and there are some bitchy girls. Most of the time I prefer them mixed. They're a wonderful group that has made my life here several orders of magnitude better.

Now something is different. A place that values me, where I actually make an impact that's not just based on profit. Some days I leave school in a fantastic mood. I roll all the windows down and praise the planet. It's a funny feeling to drive away from work and look forward to going back.

productivity 2

I've done so much that I need to make another post about it. Lucky you.

1. Changed the headlamp in my moped
2. Encrypted the drive in my laptop. This way when it gets stolen they'll only get the hardware, not the data. Really the joke is on them, a 3 year old Inspiron with a wobbly screen is no gem.
3. Installed WinPE 2.0 to a flash drive. This is most useful with computers that have no optical drive, or ones that do but no Windows discs are available; when you need to run chkdsk because the machine won't boot, not even in safe mode. Most netbooks don't have optical drives and my desktop didn't for the first 3 months of its life.
4. I had a bunch of 1GB flash drives, so I created purposes for a coulpe of them for work. I made an office installer for one of them with both Mac and Windows versions of Office. 2nd drive is Lotus Notes installer for both OS flavors. This means instead of 4 CDs and a printed paper with IP address and CD keys, I know carry 2 flash drives. They also install in a fraction of the time.
5. Read World War Z
   
6. The wife drew a picture on the side of my WHS and I' in the process of spray painting it. It'll probably make most color coordinated people vomit but it's fun and I'm trying to do it using only the pain we already have. Pics when it's done.
   
7. This isn't directly related to my video card being gone, but I've started a 2600 meeting in Hilo. First meeting was in October and it wasn't until February that anyone actually showed up, but someone finally did. Now Kevin and I meet with the other regular once a months and show off and talk about different tech stuff. It's fully awesome.
8. Today I got an email from the RMA company saying they've shipped my card and it'll be returning on Monday. So the end of productivity is nigh here.
   

Thanks

Here I am on the business end of western civilization. Where corruption is ridden with mirth. I always thought it was war that would unstabalize our world, but it appears to be economies. The tools we use to measure debt owed buckles under the load.
We're too apathetic to protest, instead hoping that a candidate with the best propaganda will fix everything in only 4 years, if he isn't killed. The only action I feel will represent how I feel is to leave my strongest middle finger for the unapologetic captains of our downfall to see.

I sink time into DIY projects because that's all I can control, I spend my time reading technical blogs because they're impartial. Technical concepts become standards because they're adapted by the majority. It cuts away the impractical or overly complex and usually the standard chosen is best. Even when it's not, its successor usually is.

Internet was supposed level the playing field. your very own laptop can cost as little as $350. To give anyone and everyone a voice. Free services for everyone to express what they want, to focus and draw out the corruption, to stop these 1% filthy fuckers from taking advantage of everything in their sights.

Pride

Your gender, nationality, family name, highschool, your god? How did these things become important to you? These are things that you don't choose.

Children, they're a choice. Your work ethic, how you treat the world; these are things to take pride in. You can control these; they're a reflection of you.

I take a little bit of pride in being Arabic, but not much. I was never taught to speak Arabic, my family went to the Unitarian church, I don't make very good hummus.

The pride I take now comes in my work. The place I live is very special and I take pride in it because I choose to live here and I want to keep it an amazing place. I'm very proud of my wife, she is one of the best choices I've ever made.

There's been some political conventions recently and everyone loves to shout about their pride for this country. Like it's better than others. Like they had a choice. I don't understand the pride some people have in the things they have no control over.

What are you most proud of?

Wedding

Having just been intimately involved with a wedding here are the things I learned.

Photography

We relied heavily on friends and family which had lots of good points:

1. free
   
2. we keep all the originals
3. lots of candids
   
4. we have 1,200 pictures
   

The downsides are:

1. they vary quite a bit in quality,
   
2. we missed a lot of important shots, like the family portraits because
   
3. there was no organization for any of the shots
4. there was no expectation of professionalism

In hindsight, I should have arranged with some of the groom's men to be in charge of organizing the photography.

Style and originality

Be as as unique as you want to. We had a wonderful minister who did an amazing job and she gave us a unique ceremony that many people seemed to enjoy. We also had leis shipped from Hawai'i and my nephew being a flower boy dressed in aloha gear.
But plan ahead. We had some really great ideas but there just wasn't enough time to arrange for them.

Invitations

We made our own. We designed them in Publisher, used flower graphics that our friend made, printed them at Office Max for about $75 and cut them ourselves. This was a really good decision. We got a lot of great feedback from everyone (grandparents & friends). It really set a nice mood for the ceremony. My cousin advised that as soon as you mention the word Wedding to a professional anybody the price jumpes about %100 because they know you aren't a returning customer.



We did the same for the RSVPS . The glaring error that we made was in not leaving a place for them to write their name. We received so many RSVPs that said "All 5 of us will be coming" and we had no idea who they were. Sometimes though, no matter what you do, the ravages of the USPS can deliver only the useless husk of a one grand RSVP.

Marriage License

We got ours at the Richmond Circuit court. It cost us $35 +$2.50 for a certified copy of the marriage license. To help the process go smoothly, arrive in a good mood, bring cash, and your ID. Turn off your cell phone.

Location

Our ceremony was held at the Unitarian Church in Richmond, and Artworks in Southside hosted the reception. We really lucked out. We only had 6 months to find a place. I suggest start calling as soon as you can, a year before is not too early. Seriously, start calling now.
Having the reception at a venue that already has some decoration helps a lot. Ours was at an art studio so there was lots of gorgeous stuff on the walls already. My brother had his at a nursery, so all of his pictures have plants in the background.

Food

Don't expect to eat on your wedding day. I was lucky, I got a little bit of food during the reception, J got less. We didn't really eat until we got to the hotel room where my uncle had arranged a gift basket with delicious bread and other treats.
My dad arranged the catering, mostly from a Mediterranean bakery. He complimented it with food from Costco for those with more delicate palettes. We got lots of compliments on the food we barely touched.

Minister

We had the best minister possible. She is a family friend and has been a part of my life since I was a baby. She's beautiful, smart, resourceful, talented and was absolutely perfect for us. She made the ceremony. She kept me from folding from nerves, she kept me sane, she gave me a kiss. Choosing the right minister will make your ceremony a real success.

Getting married is one of the best experiences of my life. The months leading up to it were very very difficult and put a lot of strain on us. The wedding day completely made up for it. I could not have asked for anything better.

Please comment on your wedding if you've had one, or with expectations if you haven't and plan to, or why you won't if you're not.

Big Day

1. First news of the day: Wil Morva was sentenced to death today.

There’s nothing more I can do, but there are others like me and I hope you know that and soon they’re going to get together,” says Morva. They’re going to sweep over your whole civilization and they’re going to wipe these smiles off of your faces forever. That’s all.

2. Then I Stumbled this page from Eric Schmidt talking about Net Nuetrality. I got the number for Senator Akaka in Hawai'i and left a message expressing my support. Never have I felt leaving a message to be so proactive.

3. I mailed 48 thank you cards today. The postage is $.42, most of them had a $.41 stamp. I bought $1 of $.01 stamps.

4. On the corner of Mamo and Kilauea I came across a guy passed out in his truck. He was stopped at the intersection. I ran into the art co-op and asked someone to call 9-11 while I opened the door, held him up and turned off the engine. He was breathing but unconcious. The EMTs arrived very quickly and they took over. I waited another 30-45 minutes to give a statement but none was wanted. They said he was on a lot of pian killers. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Every day is different. Every day is exactly the same

It was a wonderful day.

Weak follow up

Fire your gun into the mouth of doubt

wisdom teeth

One week ago today I got my wisdom teeth removed. Both the dentist and the oral surgeon talked to me about the consequences, the healing times and what to expect. The surgeon was very confidant and was not worried about any of the things that scared me, specifically the promiximity of one of the teeth to mandibular nerve. His confidence made me feel a lot better and I went into the surgery with little fear. Here is what I wrote last week:

The procedure was quick to start, an IV and I was sedated but not quite asleep. Dozing but aware of what they were saying. The overwhelming pain, confusion and fear that came from hearing one of my teeth break during removal.
I heard "he's a bleeder," I heard myself moan in pain and their response "relax, we've given you all the medicine we can"
There were several complications, the sinus was nicked on both sides. and I bled profusely on the right lower side.
i remember the pain spidering across my jaw on the left side when they removed the tooth that was so deep into the jaw that on the x-ray it showed being close enough to hold hands with the mandibular nerve. The dentist had tried to explain the elevated risk of losing complete sensitivy of my lower jaw, a risk that there was no way around, I couldn't not get the surgery, and the longer I waited the harder it would be. It's been about 9 hours since they took my teeth and I still can't feel my chin, but my lower lip is incredibly sensitive and stings whenever anything touches it.

Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. The sinus was hit, I bled a lot, I never went under, and my lower lip, lower front teeth and part of my chin are still numb.
I am still quite sore in my gums. I can close my mouth but it's still not a resting position.

I'm pretty mobile now, until yesterday I hadn't been beyond the mail box. Last night we saw Angela Davis. I'm doing a shift at work tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Old Crow

The Mrs. PI and I got into a conversation today about cheap toilet paper and how god awful it is. How it's a PITA to use and how ineffective it can be. I concurred and instantly made a short list of things I do not like to buy less than top shelf of.

• Headlights. The difference between $15 and $25 lamps can be your car
• Olive oil, if it's not Extra Virgin, it's not EVOO
• Toilet paper
• Computer memory.
  
• LCD monitors.
  
• Bras. The most powerful force on the planet need support

What are your top shelf buys?

ToDo: Make to do list

How do you keep track of your to dos? I'm a fan of to do lists, but I think that a hard copy of a to do list is not nearly dynamic enough for my needs. I like something I can access from work, my pda, home and any other internetted computer. A widget that works on my google hompage would be nice too.
Google does make a To Do list and there are tonnes if you search. I guess my needs in order of importance

mark items as completed but not removed from the list
ability to share specific items with specific people
Works with Google start page
easily synced with an offline pda

And just for kicks, here's my to do list this weekend:

• Buy car washing soap
• wash car
• put NIN sticker on bumper
  
• burn CDs / DVDs for friend
  
• assemble tattoo

What's on your list this weekend?