December 3, 2012

Put a pin in this moment.

I'm back in Hilo. Like for good. With any luck, I'll die here.  When I do, burn me and toss me in the ocean. Or figure out a way to compost me. That escalated quickly.

I'm back, but there's no shortage of missing pieces in my life.  My Jessie is still in VA, working her booty off in a difficult OT job.  We talk several times a day but it's not the same.  We'll never do this again. We want to be together, settle down and have children.

My cat and dog are with her, being well cared for and spoiled, but they belong here, retiring to HI. HI has no rabies, and they have strict guidelines for letting animals into the state. It's going to be a challenge. It needs to happen.

Our car was totaled recently, we're still working through the paperwork to get that settled. It's difficult to take care of a car in a salvage yard in NV, registered in MA, I'm in HI and Jessie's in VA. We keep hoping to make progress only to keep hitting road blocks. I hope this obstacle will be over come soon. It's my least favorite of our challenges.

We're looking for a house. We have some money for the down payment, but it's a big decision. We know what we want, where we want it and we want it now.  As with the other things we're dealing with, it's difficult coordinating this big decision while we're separated.
I've given up gaming until we have a house. I'm not a competitive gamer but I am a consistent gamer and it used to take a lot of my time, it was a good release for me, but it diverted my attention. I need as much focus as I can get right now.  Until the above items are taken care of how can I justify any more distractions? If I want to keep my wife happy, she needs a house. Gaming is keeping me from that. The joke, of course, is that since I quit gaming I've purchased the THQ bundle and a Death Adder mouse.

I'm thankful for reintegrating into our circle of friends. They're amazing and they keep me sane and entertained. We go on adventures: night swimming, full moon blessings. They're empathetic and fun.

I have roommates again.  I'm tired of roommates.  One doesn't say hello or even attempt to live with me. The other is a drunk, drinking and smoking so much that it's difficult to be in a room with him because of the stench. When he drinks I can't understand him through his slurred speech. He's also taken over the lanai, leaving trash, empty cans and cigarette butts over everything. I used to eat breakfast out there but I can't do that anymore. It's filthy. The third roommate is great, an old friend, but he's never home.

I have a moped again which is great. $10 / month on gas. It's a nice slice of independence. Hopefully it won't break.

1 comment:

Abby - Bright Yellow World said...

So good to "hear" your voice again, despite all these challenges. Hang in there! Sending love and light your way.