Conversations with Massachusetts Assholes

Question:

When is it OK to swerve into oncoming traffic?

Answer:




1. When the car in front of me is going slower than I want to go.
2. Fuck you, go Socks. HUEHUEHUEHUE
3. 

New England

1. If you want to talk to your friends please do so on a sidewalk and not in the middle of the street.
2. When you run a red light, don't turn your head away from me pretending like you didn't know; you've already run a red light and created a dangerous situation, now watch where you are going.
3. After a snow storm there are large snow drifts on each corner and the normally small lanes are bottle necked further. If the maintenance crews have not plowed the sidewalks, this means that perhaps it isn't a good day to go running, or maybe a different path is the best choice, running in traffic isn't.
4. Please stop cutting every single corner.
5. Turn signals and blind spots, your car has them.
6. Right of way exists to prevent accidents.
7. Wait your turn, if you can't cross 2 lanes of traffic please don't block all traffic until a spot opens up. Your wait has now evolved into 10 people waiting for you.
8. Your dog poops! Picking up after it is part of the responsibility of caring for a dog.
9. Look both ways before crossing the street.
10. Springfield is not your trashcan.

By the sword we seek peace

1. The first time they took some quarters and two granola bars and I didn't get angry because they were clearly hungry and didn't break anything.
2. The second time they set the alarm off and I was a little annoyed to have to wake up in the middle of the night.
3. This is the third time someone has broken into the car. Sunday morning brought this little gem and Springfield's ugly war boot crushed our Hawaiian petal.

They took my car's manual, a hair brush and a neck tie, then dumped them 50' away under a street lamp. You can see the rock in the first picture, it took down my rear-view mirror and the windshield-wiper lever. The wipers are now stuck on high.

The cops didn't even get out of their car when filing the report and were more interested in talking to me about Hawai'i than the incident. I had been giving New England the benefit of the doubt. No more.

Now you get nothing.

Massholes

Walking Honey Bear for the last time before bed tonight, we were waiting at the intersection.  There's a No Turn On Red sign and a lit pedestrian walk sign when it's our turn to cross. Both of these were ignored as a lady in an SUV almost ran us over. Fine, I was expecting it and wasn't surprised as I kept HB out of danger.

What I did not expect was what the young man waiting on the other side of the intersection yelled from his window while waiting at the red light:

"Your dog sucks cock!"

I don't even... What? Immediately I went on defense and I got angry and frustrated and wanted to sling up a middle finger or yell a retort, but what would I say, I was too confused. We completed the final block home trying to figure it out.

Entering the house I gave HB a little biscuit and called Wife. She gave me HB's perspective:

oh boy! Some guys yelled from a car. I peed.
I got a treat!

Archer, I barely know her

What stands for your culture? Today after an almost two year dry spell we went arching.  A charming indoor range about forty five minutes' drive.  They put a new nock on my string using the right equipment, fixed an arrow tip and sold me a finger guard. We shot for about thirty minutes until our arms got tired and fingers started to become raw.

We patronized a local small business, I connected with the kid behind the counter and pursued a hobby.

Diabolical sound coming through your speaker.

It's an almost daily occurrence.  I'm sitting at a red light aiming to go straight, the light turns green and the driver on the other side of the intersection turning left jets out, ignoring right-of-way, in front of me like it's cool.  This annoys me when I'm by myself because I really like my car. When Wife is in the car it makes me furious, they're now putting my family at risk. What are my options? Usually just a long sounding of the horn.

I am impotent.

Hell

Right here in front of me and in my kitchen.
I reached for a lid, but couldn't find one. Turns out, that was the time to sort through this mess, right as dinner was ready to serve.  I pruned about 1/3 from the pile. I had containers with no lids, lids with no containers. Ridiculous.

I'm all for reusing containers but when I buy the yogurt on sale it means I get different brands and different brands think it's awesome to have differently shaped containers.

In other hell news, an apartment dweller on the right parked in front of the renters on the left. When they left this morning they knocked over a trash can into the drive way and didn't stop to pick it up. GG Mass.

The land of hate and honey

I moved to MA a little over a month ago and have serious culture shock.  The neighbors above us are passive aggressive not making any effort to introduce themselves and in fact making an effort to avoid any interaction.  One of them ran to his car when he saw me pull in and pulled away quickly before I got out of my car.  None of them take out the trash, the only responsibility that we might share. After taking the trash out Thursday night for Friday pickup we left to Richmond for the weekend, on Monday we returned to find all the containers still sitting on the curb: 4 days later. They make no effort.

Tonight the person driving behind me honked because they felt I wasn't turning soon enough, despite the slushy rain and snow and the consistent traffic. They didn't have their lights on and I was the one not holding up my end of the social contract.

They're nice in person. When they get in their cars they turn in to monsters

The good parts:

• I'm living near my aunt. A relationship who's time for a close proximity has come.
• The price of cheese is zero (on a long enough scale)
• The Italian food is outstanding.  I never thought spaghetti could be outstanding
• My cat
• people say 'wicked'